A letter to my nonrunner friends

Dear non running friends,

Every so often when I talk about running, I hear you say, "I wish I could run like that."
Well, I am here to tell you that you can.

I know, there is always an excuse.
I know there is always a pain.
I know there is always a barrier.

I know this because I was there.

10 years ago, I rarely WALKED a mile.
During college, I made it to the gym on occasion because I was sick of being told that I could stand to lose a few pounds, that I was pleasantly plump or that I would be so pretty if I just lost some weight. But I didn't fall in love with the gym because I wasn't doing it for myself. I was doing it for someone else.

 After college, I met my future husband. His family was active and happy and fit. I wanted that, for me and my future family.

I started by walking the loop around my apartment complex. It never amounted to much. And then, I started jogging just a few paces. Then a little more and a little more. I added a little distance each time I made it out and before I knew it, I was running. I signed up for a 5K and was so dissapointed with my time (34:00 plus) and the way I felt, that I vowed I would never do that again. But, I did.

And the more and more I did it, the more it got into my blood. I signed up for 5K after 5K. I tried to beat my times. I decided to run 13.1 miles, and I am certain people doubted me. But your body is an amazing machine. It will do what you tell it to. Build it little by little. Baby steps. 

It got in my blood. I started biking and swimming and did a triathlon.

I am pretty sure that when you say I am crazy, what you really mean is that I am dedicated. 

What makes it work? Determination and a supportive and encouraging running partner (which can be like finding a life partner). 

Even after two kids, I just finished my third half marathon. If I had kept saying I can't, I never would have. 

So...like Nike would say...just do it.

Me and my running pal, Marie, after a 10 mile race. 

Baby boy closet

My cozy cape cod has some crazy closets. Built into the eaves of the house each of the four upstairs closets are huge, but awkward. Slowly, we have been trying to use what we have to make the usable. When we first moved in, my uncle came and helped me install the wire shelves from Home Depot. $200 plus later, the closet was a little more functional. The closet once housed my clothes, shoes, jewelry and purses. Two kids later, I have greatly downsized and now the closet belongs to its rightful owner, my son. These bins really don’t have anything in them. He has a dresser, and there is a closet bar, so I am hoping to use the bins for shoes, hats, toys and other odds and ends as he grows. Each bin/basket was $1 at the Dollar Tree. The bins are not sturdy, so they might be reserved for clothes, shoes. I like to grab bins/baskets full of toys and let the kiddos go to town. These bins won’t stand up to that, the plastic baskets and other plastic bins the dollar store has, will. But, this looks sweet, doesn’t it?

Downsizing feels so good

I have been in a mad dash to downsize my junk. My 1,200 square foot (rounded up) house feels smaller and smaller as our family grows. Some days I think I want to move, but really, I just want to make this cozy house feel workable. And it is. This is my home.
I fall into that trap that "I might need this later." It's taken a lot of convincing, but I finally realized that if I get rid of something that I might need, there isn't any reason I can't buy another.


This is just a small portion of what I am donating.

That being said, my goals were to move ALL of my clothes and shoes out of my son's closet. Since I joined my husband in our home in 2008, we each claimed a closet (his in our room, mine in the spare room). Well, that spare room became the nursery and I just kept sharing the closet with a baby. That baby girl moved out and into the other bedroom (at which point I moved my craft room to the unfinished basement). And, another baby moved into the nursery. I am about to go back to work and don't want to sneak into his room if I forget something.
I cleaned out at least 3 times in the last 9 months while I have been off work with the kids. I have done kids' consigment sales, yard sales, eBay, swap sites etc. On this last time around, I started getting rid of stuff I still liked, but just wasn't wearing. I mean, how many sweatshirts do I need?  And, I am just donating. It's a tax deduction and the easiest way to unload quickly.

This last go round, I think I cleared out 8 garbage bags of my shoes and clothes. I made sure to write it all down for tax records. One round of cleaning and I donated about $1,200 worth of clothes and shoes.

This doesn't happen overnight. I swear, I haven't felt able to relax since I had a second child. There is SO much stuff. I try so hard to just go through and clean, clean, clean. I have a section of the basement for yard sale stuff and try to have a yard sale every other year. Some years I do great...sometimes I do not. I enjoy having yard sales though, so it's no big deal for me.

I finally feel success. The big key for me were two questions, "When is the last time you used this?" and "Would you buy this today?" Man, did things fly onto that donate/trash pile. I still have a lot to do, but what once seemed SO overwhelming is now well under way. I organized and uncluttered so many spaces in my house during nap times and play times or quiet evenings. I have to say, I am prouder of myself that I thought I would be!

From drab and dirty to fab and fun

I am rather addicted to rescuing old pieces of furniture and making them look new and fresh. I wish I had more time to go looking for potential makeover pieces, but I don’t. It’s probably a good thing because there is a very small workspace in my basement in which I can tackle these projects. So, I do them one at a time.

 There are SO many people who are also into this hobby and are making a living off of it. I do it for fun. I have sold two desks and have another finished. The money is going into my “new house fund.”

 I like to find chairs to go with the desks I do, too. I happened to have a morning free to go to a Kids’ Consignment sale and on the way home stopped at Front Porch Antiques. I hate to offer less than the asking price for things, but I wanted this chair (and another one). This one was priced $5 and the other one was not priced. I only had $7. They didn’t accept credit and I forgot my checkbook. So, out of necessity I asked and he obliged. I threw in an extra 25 cents to truly empty out my wallet. I am too honest, I guess.

I forgot to take a before of the desk, of course…but you can see the transformation of the dirty, dusty chair into something clean and crisp. My favorite part is probably choosing the color schemes. I love seeing it all come together. I don’t love this fabric as much as I thought I did at first, but it will work.  

Reintroduction of myself

I started this blog almost 6 years ago. I haven't kept it up as much as I would like, but I am still here!

It's funny how it started....click here if you want to know.

But in 6 years, a lot has happened.

I am still a wife, thank God. Thank God that my husband and I are committed to this crazy journey because it's not easy. But I am a totally different kind of wife. I am working toward being less selfish in my relationship and learning that love truly is a choice, an action...not a feeling.

I still love to cook and bake...I just don't get to go it as often as I would like.

I still love to exercise outside, but have moved my pursuits inside because the YMCA has childcare. I bike and run, just now how I used to. Swimming hasn't happened in quite some time.

I still love to make things new from old things and tackle projects around the house, it just happens a lot less frequently and in smaller doses.

I still love to bargain shop, but am definitely not opposed to spending a lot of money (oh say $88) on a pair of jeans that make my mom body feel like a rock star who might still have some shape.

What else is different is that I now run a household of one dog, two cats and two children. I am home with the kids full time until August when they will be 3 years old and 9 months. Holy hell....what a wake up call. I always thought of staying home with your kids as a relaxing vacation. Um, no way. I forget to make dinner, I neglect cleaning, I nap at random times, I sleep in chunks of 2 hours at a time, sometimes I spend money on things for convenience and saving time, I can't remember the last book I read, my craft projects are piling up on Pinterest and I am not sure I will ever get to them all, my car is always dirty, my clothing style is now mom casual, I am addicted to the slow cooker, there is dog hair on everything in my house including my 6 month old, I have really old leftovers in my fridge and I often forget to take out the trash.

My life is a crazy, beautiful journey. I have learned to be real, to air my imperfections with pride and work on making them better. I have learned to forgive, forget, reforgive and reforget. I have learned that my life isn't a magazine cover and I don't have to be perfect. I just have to be me. And, I love that. I love tackling projects and learning new skills. And I hope this blog continues to be inspiration for its small readership as well as a way for me to chronicle my progress of being just a Mrs. Ordinary!  

Mother's Day

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Some days, I can't even believe I am a mother. I mean, really, what qualifications do I have? I still feel 21 some days...well, until I look into the mirror and see the grey hair from stressing over caring for my children in the best way I know how. I see smile lines from giggles and tickles with my adorable daughter who knows how to melt my heart. I see dark circles under my eyes from sleepless nights with my 6 month old son who just can't figure out how to make it through the night without me. I see worry and fear. I worry I am doing this job ALL wrong. I worry that I have embarked on a journey that I wasn't meant to take, because I couldn't handle it or that I was meant for something else. I worry that I am not a good example or that my mistakes will ruin my children. I lose my patience. I lose my cool and sometimes I lose myself.
But I chose to have my children. No matter how hard things get, I will never, ever regret having them. They are a joy. They are a blessing. They are meant to be here.
There are days I want to stay up later, sleep in, go to the bathroom alone, eat a meal without worrying I will accidentally take a bite of baby food, shop with an empty cart, leave the house with NO bags, get dressed without worrying about baby spit up, go on a day trip without packing a pump or do what people without children do. But when I didn't have children and could do all of those things, I was really missing out. I didn't have little partners in crime. Or someone to read me bedtime stories about the huntsman who stole all of Snow White's headbands. Or that toothless smile that greets me through the crib bars in the morning. I didn't have a reason to rush home at night. I didn't have a reason to buy tons of little tiny clothes and toys and books. I didn't have someone to grab my face kiss my nose and tell me that they loved me and that I am the best mom that she's got. I didn't have someone to nuzzle into my chest and gaze up at me like I was the world's most awesome creation and there was no one else like me. I didn't have someone to tell me that my outfits were pretty or that I needed to brush my teeth. They are honest and non judgemental. They love me unconditionally (for now) no matter how bad I screw up. (and man, have I truly screwed up).
My kids make me feel beautiful and wise and loved and cherished and honored. They make me cry and scream and shake my fists and question my sanity.
They have given me the highest highs and the lowest lows I have ever, ever experienced in my 32 years.
So tonight on a Saturday night when I used to find myself out on the town, I crawl under the covers, say a prayer for their little lives to stay safe and innocent for as long as they can. And I thank God profusely and profoundly that he allowed me to be the mother to two of his most perfect creations.

One of a kind desk chair

I must get better at taking the BEFORE pictures. Because, this one would have made for a great before and after. I pick up pieces of furniture wherever I come across them. Knowing this, my stepdad unloaded this when he saw the back of my pickup truck already full… I am sure he thought, “what’s one more chair?” A scratchy blue fabric covered the chair and it sat in my basement. I probably could have sold it on Craigslist for $5 or maybe for $2 at a yard sale, but then I came across a tutorial on Pinterest on how to redo an office chair. And what seemed impossible, became very probable.

                Making old items new is really just about taking apart something someone made and making it your own.

Materials:

Old Office Chair

Upholstery Fabric

Padding

Batting

Staple gun and staples

Screwdriver

Pliers

Directions:

1. Remove the back and seat. First you have to inspect the chair and see how it is put together. This chair had something weird going on (the back was fastened with a bolt and a screw).  However, it should be as simple as removing the oval shaped do-dad with a screwdriver. Flip the chair over and remove the seat portion. It might be screwed on or bolted on. If you need help, ask a husband or dad…that’s what I always do when I hit a roadblock. Then, I have learned for the next time.

2. Take off the old fabric. This part can cause damage, to your hands! You just have to tackle the staples. I did this while watching TV and a few times when I wasn’t paying attention, I grazed my hand with the screwdriver and drew blood. I tried to loosen the staple with the screwdriver by wriggling it under, and then pulling it out with the pliers, or some combination of both.

3. Replace the fabric and padding. I cut a piece of fabric and batting about 4 inches around all sides for both the back and seat. I did this to be sure I didn’t mess up and waste this expensive fabric. (Purchased from Fabric.com, because it was MUCH cheaper than the local fabric box store.) I cut a piece of padding to match the one that I took out. You don’t have to replace the padding if you want to save money, but it sure will be more comfortable. Then, you place seat piece down, the padding, the batting and then the fabric and kind of wrap it like a present. If this doesn’t make sense, just pay attention as you are taking apart the chair and it will make sense.

4. Staple the new  pieces to the chair. This part is something I have to practice. It’s very hard to get it very stretched and make the corners right. I just really, really worked with until I felt like it looked good. It still could have been better, but hey…it was my first shot.

5. Reassemble the chair. Voila. It’s your new awesome office chair.

T-shirt quilt not done, but darn near close

Click here to see original post.

I swore that I started this project in 2011, but alas, it was 2009.

Good news is, I feel very close to finishing this 5 year old project. VERY CLOSE. It’s amazing how a few years of crafting increases your confidence.

Last weekend, I teamed up with my sister in law. Both of us were in a crafting slump and meeting together with no kids or distractions was the perfect way to jumpstart our stalled projects. We talked. We laughed and we got some work done. My project is now ready to be quilted together (the scariest step of all for me, anyway.) 

It’s clipped together with magnetic clips…the backing, the batting and the top. I have nightmares about bunching and shifting, but I am committed to taking my time on this guy. This is a sentimental and amazing project that I cannot wait to complete.

Tie it up: Spring wreath

  I have a pretty beautiful front door. It's probably original to the house, built in 1938ish. It's deserving of some adornments. I have a great fall and Christmas wreath that were gifts, but I needed something for spring, summer and winter. So, I set out on a mission. Since it's timely, here is the spring one. I am a pretty random crafter. I kind of start with an idea and just wing it. I am sure this drives some people crazy, but I don't always like to read directions...I just want to craft.

What you need:

Wire wreath frame (About $3 at Wal-mart)

Fabric remnants (a sheet is a great, cheap choice)

Buttons

Needle and thread (hot glue if you hate to sew)

Directions:

 

1. Cut your fabric into strips. I would say about 8 inches or so.

2. The wreath has 4 rings. I found it covers the wreath better with less fabric if you use one of the middle rings and not the inside or outside.

3. Simply start tying knots. You can space them as close or far as you want. Tie until your whole wreath is covered. It’s a great project to do while watching TV or socializing.

4. For the flowers, there are A LOT of tutorials on Pinterest for these. I read a few and then just did what I thought worked for me. I just cut different sizes of a flower shape and layered them until it looked like a flower. I sewed them together in the center and added a button.

That is it! Seriously.

4 Month sleep regression is real

I have not posted for many reasons, but the main one is: I don't feel like myself. When I don't sleep, I am a mean, impatient, unmotivated slug. And, my darling Ez wasn't giving me consistent stretches of sleep. This photo shows him...plotting his sleep disasters for me.

My kids aren't horrible sleepers. I have heard and read many worse. But no  matter how hard I try, I do not stop obsessing until my kid sleeps enough that I feel human.   That being said, I totally and fully believe in the 4 month sleep regression.  After two children...one who slept for 12 hour stretches from 9 weeks and another who slept so inconsistently I lost track...they BOTH regressed to different degrees at the 4 month mark. Both were taught healthy sleep habits (some of you call it sleep training). Both were able to self soothe. Both put themselves to sleep without a peep. Yet, both of them felt it necessary to regress. The 12 hour sleeper started waking once a night to eat after about 8 hours. The inconsistent crazy sleeper was waking every 4 hours and WOULDN'T eat until 10-12 hours had expired. I told myself I wouldn't beat myself up over sleep after the first baby, but I did. I do. I can't help it. I feel like it's my fault and I should have to fix it. But guess what? They sleep when they are ready. Some things may help, of course, and you will read about them all over the Internet. However, nothing is a magic pill.

I have to say that you have to know your child. You have to be confident in your choices. And you HAVE to know it will get better, even if it feels like it NEVER will.

Sleep disasters can wreak havoc on your family. It can divide a once loving couple. It can scare your preschooler. It can cause depression. It can do so many destructive things. I know, I let it.

 

The first thing I recommend is that you read a sleep book. I had no idea how a baby sleeps (number of hours, number of naps, etc.). I read and love "The Sleep Program" by Dana Obleman. It taught me to ignore people who said....

"did you try keeping them up later?" (sorry Kelly), Did you let them cry? Maybe it will get better when.....

 

Anyway, after you've read a great book and you hit a regression, here is my advice:

 

1. Don't try to be superwoman. Ask for help. Once I asked for help...the pain eased a bit.

2. Don't blame your baby. Really, they aren't doing it to piss you off.

3. Try to come up with a reason why they are waking that makes you feel bad for them. For example. I HATE when I wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back asleep. I curse. So, I told myself that both of my kids had SO much on their minds (I mean, they are developing at a rapid rate) that they would wake and not know what the heck was happening. Of course, since they knew how to self sooth they probably tried to snuggle their blanket or suck their thumb and it just didn't happen. There are plenty of nights I know how to fall asleep and still can't do it. So, when my babies woke, I wanted to help them. I wanted to help them find a way to settle down, and it wasn't CIO (cry it out) in this circumstance.

4. Last night, I prayed. I wanted to be a servant to my children. I wanted to put aside all of my selfish needs and serve them with a happy heart. It worked. It doesn't always, but last night, it did.

5. Don't be a afraid to let your child cry. I was surprised to find that MANY times, the babies could go back to sleep within a certain time frame. I gave them 10 minutes. Then it increased to 15 sometimes. I just stuck to a plan and TRIED to stay consistent. Sometimes you just can't stand it.

6. Chamomile tea. Could have been a coincidence, but I think it helped us both settle.

7. Try not to compare. I say "try" because it's inevitable. If someone said their sleep regression lasted 1 week and you're on week 4...you're going to go insane. I read in a book that you can't compare your insides to someone else's outside. I can't say it enough...but EVERY child is different. My children are proof. You don't expect all kids to walk or crawl at the same pace, we can't expect them to all sleep well at the same pace, either.  

8. Vent. Talk to other mothers. Share your concerns and most of all: BE REAL! I want to slaughter mothers who paint a pretty picture of motherhood. At times, I am feeling REALLY, REALLY good and probably am guilty of this, but I have made a conscious effort to share my war stories so other mothers don't feel like they aren't living up to my "outside" appearance.

9.  Take time for yourself. I utilize my husband, parents and friends to  help me. I still want to be able to shop with space in my cart and no time constraint for feedings or naps. It makes me happy and fills my bucket. I am a much better mother when my bucket is full. I do it a lot, and I don't feel guilty...well, most times I don't.

10. This is going to sound SO morbid, but on a really rough night, when I was trying to calm him, I asked myself if this were his last breaths, how would I treat him. Of course, I started sobbing, but I spoke sweetly to him, shared my love for him and cherished each sweet breath.

 

And I hate to say it, but baby No. 1 hit a regression at 8 months, too. So, if my sleep regression is REALLY over, I am going to sleep all I can for the next few months...in preparation for our next go round, whenever that may be.  

Black and grey desk makeover

I am addicted to finding old stuff and making it new. I don't want to say "junk" because this desk was FAR from junk. My dad found it at an auction for a ridiculously low price and handed it off to me. It was in great condition, solid wood and would cost a fortune at a furniture store today. But, it had the "old" look. He painted it cream and distressed it, but it needed a little character. I personally made it something I would put in my office, in case it didn't sell for what I wanted to get for it, it would have  home.
I am getting more efficient. I painted this in about two days once I committed to it. It was sitting in my basement since the fall, though. I hope to have more projects to paint, once he starts heading to the auctions again. I did pick up an old, falling apart sewing table for free on the side of the road. I have to practice my carpentry skills on that one!

Jobs

It's been quite sometime since posting...obviously because although I've been tackling projects left and right....I've had NO time for pictures and posting. I'll catch up when little man sleeps!

I've been prepping for a kids' consignment sale because I'm unloading some clothes and shoes and it made me think how cool it would be to have my own consignment business. Obviously...it would be hard, but it would be a job I loved...which got me thinking about all the jobs I've had and how they shaped my Interests. So...here's a little (well, not so little) list of my past jobs and what I learned.

Job: Roadside produce seller

Lesson: I love selling things. 

Job: Food vendor

Lesson: I love waiting on people, and I hate maggots. 

Job: Deli girl

Lesson: reaching your hand up the butt of a raw chicken is really as bad as it seems...and, I still love selling food and waiting on people. 

Job: Kmart cashier/layaway girl/key maker 

Lesson: I have the patience of a saint for dealing with crazy ass customers

Job: Associate at Gap Outlet

Lesson: ok...I love clothes and ringing up purchases for people. I hate the fitting room. 

Job: Waitress at Holiday Inn

Lesson: I learned what a penny tip was all about and what work release is (not for me of course) 

Job: Victoria's Secret

Lesson: Free bras are cool, the shit you have to put up with to get them is not. 

Job: Waitress at Cracker Barrel

Lesson: being this was my longest stint at one job (11 years although not full time) you'd think I would have learned lots...all I can say is that I can deal with almost any customer complaint after that. 

Job: tutor for America Reads

Lesson: sad, sad, sad stories are far too common In education 

Job: associate at Giant

Lesson: if you quit before you start, you'll be on a do-not-hire list for 7 years and have nightmares about it long after the 7 years is up. 

Job: Radio personality 

Lesson: I don't think it counts if you read the 5 a.m. News and no one hears it! I'm not cutout for radio.

Job: Intern for local PBS station researching 

Lesson: I'm not good at being someone's assistant especially for FREE. 

Job: intern for newspaper

Lesson: it's really embarrassing when your first article is canned...but it gets better...way, way better. 

Job: intern for another newspaper

Lesson: you can actually work at a place and never feel like you belong.

Job: entertainment reporter

Lesson: this shit is cool, for about 2 weeks. Then, it just gets to be old hat. 

Job: Food reporter

Lesson: this shit is cool for about 2 years...then it feels like Groundhog Day. 

Job: Substitute teacher 

Lesson: something new every day is cool and the places you dread going the most is where you learn the most. 

Job: Real teacher 

Lesson: I'll write a book someday 

Job: mom

Lesson: it's amazing how I can feel more pretty and loved covered in baby spit up and stickers than I do when I actually shower, wear makeup and go out on the town. True story.